Sex in my coffee
by happy molecule
Summary: sequel to Jack O'Neill, Songwriter. Sam writes a song parody of her own.....


A/N: This is the sequel to "Jack O'Neill, songwriter". It would help to read that first.  I wrote the middle first (Teal'c's bit) at 12 at night, during an intense period of insomnia, so don't blame me if none of this makes sense! This is dedicated to Davey Havok, lead singer of AFI, whose shoes were stolen when he was moshing in Milwaukee!  The parody's not that great, and I realize it doesn't really follow the tune, but hey, it was written by Sam, who is inexperienced at writing parodies.  Plus, I'm lazy. So sue me.

The song parodied is "Stacy's mom" by fountains of Wayne.

Sam sat, bored out of her mind.  Hell, she didn't even know what this meeting was about!  She was so exhausted.  And it didn't help that she had that stupid song stuck in her head!

"_Stacy's mom, has got it going on!"_

Bloody hell!  It had been a kinda cool song at first, but after hearing it over and over and over and over and over and over…

Evil Cassie who had purposely jammed the cd into her cd player so all she could listen to on the way to work was that damned song!

"_She's all I want and I've waited for so long!"_

Sam wished feverently that whoever had written that song was burning in hell!

"_Stacey can't you see, you're just not the girl for me!_"

The song was kinda amusing though; she had to admit.  It was like that guy from American Pie! 

_Whoa…did I just rhyme?  _She wondered.  _It's too early!  What kind of person schedules a meeting at 11 am anyways?!_

"_I know it might be bad but I'm in love with Charlie's dad_!"

_Wait a second…did I just parody the most annoying song in history?  And about COLONEL O'NEILL?!_

Sam was suddenly VERY worried.  She thought back to that cake she'd had earlier in the day and wondered if it had been spiked.  _I just mentally sung a song parody about Colonel O'Neill!  _Sam began to freak out.  Briefly she wondered if hyperventilating would get her out of this godforsaken meeting,  but quickly realized she'd have to explain what she was hyperventilating over…and she didn't think saying "he said savvy!!!!!!!!!!!!" again would work. 

Sam thought for a moment.  Making that song had been kinda fun…and Colonel O'Neill had written one too, so if she got brought up on charges for it, she could say it seemed like a good way to relieve stress, and anyway, she was just following his example….yes….that would be her excuse!  Sam grinned evilly.  She glanced around quickly, hoping no-one had noticed.  Quickly glancing at General Hammond, (_how the hell does he stay awake through so many meetings?! _ Sam pondered.  _Does he have magical contacts, like Homer's glasses, that make him look like he's constantly awake, when really he's sleeping?!) _Sam put her pen to paper (under the desk, of course, she wasn't COMPLETELY stupid!) and let the words flow across the page….

_Charlie's dad has got me going mad_

_Charlie's dad has got me going mad_

_Charlie's dad has got me going mad_

_Charlie's dad has got me going mad_

_Jack, can I come over after work? (after work)_

_We can throw rocks at that clerk (at that clerk)_

_Relax after the stargate's latest blip (latest blip)_

_Are you there, or are you trying to give me the slip? (give me the slip)_

_You know I'm the not little Captain that I used to be_

_I'm all grown up now, colonel, can't you see?_

_Charlie's dad has got me going mad_

_He's all I want, and it's not another fad_

_Charlie, can't you see? You're just a little lad…_

_I know it might be bad but I'm in love with Charlie's dad_

_Charlie's dad has got me going mad_

_Charlie's dad has got me going mad_

_Charlie, do you remember when he mowed his lawn? (mowed his lawn)_

_Your dad came out with just a towel on (towel on)_

_People stared, but he didn't care (didn't care)_

_And just smiled when they said "you missed a spot over there" (spot over there)_

_And I know it's against the rules of the military_

_But we need a little romance in the SGC!_

_Charlie's dad has got me going mad_

_He's all I want, and its not another fad!_

_Charlie, can't you see? You're just a little lad_

_I know it might be bad but I'm in love with Charlie's dad_

_Charlie's dad has got me going mad_

_He's all I want and it's not another fad_

_Charlie can't you see, you're just a little lad_

_I know it might be bad but oh oh (I know it might be bad)  
I'm in love with (Charlie's dad oh oh)_

_(Charlie's dad oh oh)_

_I'm in love with Charlie's dad._

Sam smiled as she read over her song and made a few adjustments.  So engrossed was she in her work, that she didn't notice Colonel O'Neill dash in, looking deathly pale.  "Fortunately", General Hammond did. 

"Colonel O'Neill, what is the meaning of this interruption?" he demanded to know.  Sam's head shot up in time to see her CO gape at the General like a fish, as he thought of an answer to the General's question.  Sam immediately knew that Jack knew that she had read his song. 

"Well?" General Hammond asked again as he waited for the Colonel's answer.  Normally Jack was good at coming up with excuses, but right now his brain was too busy mulling over the consequences of Sam reading his song- exactly the reason why he'd come dashing into the meeting.  Sam skillfully came to his rescue.

"Did Daniel finish translating that tablet from PRX – 33R?" She asked, inventing a planet code and hoping it sounded vaguely realistic.  No-one ever remembered the serial codes of the planets anyways.

Jack managed to nod.  Sam turned to General Hammond.

"General, I'm sorry to have to leave, but may I be excused?  Daniel found this tablet on PR-"

General Hammond waved Sam off before she could even finish her sentence.  Sam smiled gratefully and followed Jack, who had already darted out the door.

            Sam jogged down a long corridor before finally catching up to the colonel.  He was leaning against the wall, eyes closed, looking absolutely terrible.  _And yet, _Sam mused, _even when he looks like hell, he's still_ _gorgeous.  _

"Colonel?" she asked.  He jumped and smiled nervously.

"Uh, hi, Major…"

And then the inevitable moment of awkward silence as the pair stared at each other, longing to break the short distance between them and take the other in their arms, and stand there, together, for all of eternity.  Sam hated these moments.  She wished that he would just screw the regs, and take her in his nice, strong, brown arms, and kiss her- she mentally shook her head.  She had been watching WAY too many late night romantic movies lately.

"Thanks for rescuing me from Hammond," Colonel O'Neill finally said.

"No problem," she replied.  "Why did you want to see me?"

He shrugged.  "No reason.  Just thought you looked bored in there."

And with that, he left.

Sam glared at his back.  No, of course he wasn't going to talk to her about the song, or what it meant for their relationship now she knew that his feelings for her were more than just romantic.  No, no, no, he was too big a man for that! 

_Damn him! _Sam cursed.  Now she'd have to take matters into her own hands…..

To be continued…………….


End file.
